Where is God and what does He look like?

Two mischievous little boys were impossible to control so their mother called in the new preacher who was famous for disciplining children.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, called the first boy to see him and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner voice,
"Where is God?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He went straight to his brother's room standing there shaking with fear.
"What's happened?" his brother asked.
"We're in big trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"
A preacher arrived in town He wanted to post a letter so he asked a young boy where the Post Office was. After the boy had told him he said,
"If you come to church this evening you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven."
"I don't think I'll be there" the boy said. "You don't even know the way to the Post Office!"
A kindergarten teacher was watching her children drawing.
As she watched one of the girls she asked her what the drawing was.
"I'm drawing God" the girl replied.
"But no one knows what God looks like" the teacher said.
"They will, as soon as I've finished my drawing."
SAMANGI

Job Interview

The day I got my first job was an unforgettable day. I got up early in the morning. I was frightened because I didn't know what questions they would ask and it was my first ever interview.

I practised some interview questions with my mother. Then I put on a suit, prayed to God and arranged my certificates in my file. Then I ate breakfast but the breakfast wouldn't go into my mouth! Even so I managed to eat a small piece of bread.
Then I went with my father by van. We reached Kollupitya by 9.30am. I went into the office. The Receptionist took my interview letters and asked me to sit down.

Time passed slowly but eventually they called for me. I went into the interview room.
"Good Morning. Please take a seat" they said. There were three interviewers, one woman and two men.
Then they asked me some questions. The fear went from my mind. I answered the questions successfully. After that I handed over my certificates.
"Congratulations! You've got the job. You can start on Monday" they told me.

I was very happy. The others looked for me and asked what type of questions I was asked. I told them everything.

I went home with my father and told my family. They were very happy too.
THEVAKY

Twelve of the Best

There are various shops in Colombo that really fascinate me such as Beverly Street, Nolimit, Odel, Mondy, House of Fashion, Fashion Bug, Liberty Plaza, Majestic City, Cotton Collection, Leather Collection, Lakmal Arcade and many more. Like a web they're connected to each other and they all have branches throughout the country; even in some rural areas.
If I think about only one shop as my favourite another shop floats into my mind, and I recall what I bought there before. For example, when I think Beverly Street is the best, suddenly I think about a top or a T-shirt I bought from Cotton Collection or if I choose Odel I'll remember the shoes from Lakmal Arcade or Leather Collection. If I'm looking at a jacket from House of Fashion, Mondy's flashes through my mind. Thus I can't point out the best shop or even a favourite product because I'm crazy about teddies and toys as well as clothes.
"Reading makes a complete man". I like bookshops especially Sarasavi at Nugegoda and Vijitha Yapa at Bambalapitiya. I love reading Sherlock Holmes detective stories, science fiction and horror. I also love the video shops in Liberty Plaza.
In short, all these shops give me enormous pleasure and give me quality, reasonable prices and top brands. So, I simply can't make up my mind which is the best!
SAMANGI

My First Visit to the UK: Leicester

One of my members of staff and I went to the UK 7 years back. This was our first visit to the UK. We landed at Heathrow Airport at 9.30 on a Sunday morning. We checked out and outside the airport was a man with our name boards. We got in the car and drove off towards Leicester.
It was a long drive (3 hours) but the amazing thing is that the driver didn't talk to us at all and we were scared to talk to him. The countryside was interesting to look at.
When he dropped us at our hotel we had our lunch and went for a walk. The next day we had meetings, and all week we were based in the office or meeting technologists. On Friday we went to the airport to return to Sri Lanka. We arrived at Terminal 4 and found that our flight had been changed to Qatar Airlines. We took a train and went to another Terminal where they told us that Sri Lankan Airlines had to sign off our tickets. We went back to Terminal 4 and they told us to go to the London office. We didn't have time to do that so we had an argument...but still nothing happened.
The next flight wasn't until Sunday morning. So what could we do now???
We had left our jackets at the hotel and we were shivering.
The next day we went to London and visited lots of places: Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square... it was great fun.
We ended the day by going up in the London Eye. It was a fantastic trip.
Thank you Sri Lankan Airlines for my extra day!!!
DINESH

The Ant Bully a.k.a. the Destroyer

One early morning after his mum and dad had already gone to work Lucas opened the door and went into the garden. A few boys passed him and teased him,
"Hey Peanut! What are you doing?" and threw an empty plastic bottle at him.
It made Lucas angry but he couldn't do anything, so he just looked at them, laughed and walked away.
He started watering the grass with his water pistol and noticed a few ants running around his hand. He brushed them off and then spotted a colony of ants. He sprayed the colony with water and the ants, under attack, fled the colony; some were injured.
The ants kept running but one of them, Liz, wanted to see the Destroyer and try to talk to him.
"Hello! What's you name?" Liz the ant said.
Lucas couldn't hear anything, but saw an ant on his leg and tried to squash it.
Another ant, Jack, ran to rescue his friend and to save her by holding her leg and running away.
She said, "Thanks, Jack!"
Jack the ant asked her "What were you doing there? You know it's very dangerous. I can't save your life all the time. You must be careful."
"I'm just trying to talk to that boy, perhaps we can make peace." Liz replied.
"Liz you're always so optimistic and considerate to others. That's why I love you!" said Jack.

"Lucas can you give me a hand?" came a voice from the house.
"Yes, Grandma!" said Lucas.
Then Lucas put his water pistol down and vanished into the house.
MAHATIP

The Bald Knight

Once upon a time, a long time ago there was a knight, who as he grew older lost all his hair. He became as bald as an egg. He decided to wear a wig.
One day the Lords and Ladies of the castle asked him to go hunting with them. He put on his beautiful wig and set off happily for the forest.
However, while he was hunting something terrible happened. His wig got caught in the branch of a tree and came off in full view of everyone. How they laughed at him!
At first the knight felt foolish. He was blushing there in front of everyone. But later he saw the funny side and started laughing too.
The knight never ever wore his wig again.
The moral of this story is when people laugh at us it is best to ....!
BANURA

Nasruddin and the Candle

One day the friends of Mullah Nasruddin got together to celebrate his birthday. As they were talking Nasruddin tboasted to his friends that he could do anything. One of his friends challenged him to stay the night at Snow Mountain. Snow Mountain was the coldest place in their country. The next day Nasruddin set off for Snow Mountain to spend the night. He took some candles and a book.
The next morning he returned and went to his friends to tell them that he had spent the night at Snow Mountain. They didn't believe it because he had taken candles.
He invited his friends over for dinner. All the friends came but the dinner wasn't ready. They waited until midnight and then went into the kitchen where they saw Nasruddin trying to cook soup in a large saucepan with a candle.
MILINDA

Cunning Fox

One day a donkey was walking down the road when he heard a voice:
"Help! Help!"
The donkey looked to see where the sound had come from. Then he saw a fox who had fallen into a well.
"Please help me get out!" pleaded the fox.
"But how can I help you?"asked the donkey.
"Friend you can jump into the well and then I can climb up your body and get out" replied the fox.
The donkey did as he was asked and the fox managed to climb out. The fox was about to leave when the donkey asked,
"Aren't you going to help me get out?"
"You should have thought about that before you jumped in." replied the fox.
DHANUSHKA

The Goat and the Pot

Mahadana Muttha thought he was the cleverest person in his village, but he wasn't - he was a fool. He had a huge book called "The Big Knowledge Book" and he used it to solve villagers' problems.
One day the Head of the village came to Mahadana Muttha because his goat had got his head stuck in a pot. He hoped that Mahadana Muttha would have a solution. Mahadana Muttha opened his great big book and sure enough he found a solution:
"Cut the goat's neck and protect the pot."
The Head of the village was also a fool and he said O.K.
Mahadana Muttha called his friend who brought a knife and cut the goat's head off.
No goat and a head still stuck inside the pot!
"O My God!" screamed the Head of the village when he realised what a big foolish thing they had done.
Mahadana Muttha ran off before the Head of the village could get him.
KASUN

The Bear and the Two Friends

Alfie and Ben were two good friends. One day they were passing through a forest. Suddenly they saw a bear coming towards them. Alfie ran off and climbed up a tree. Ben didn't know how to climb trees so he was stuck.
He remembered that wild animals do not disturb dead bodies so he lay still on the ground, closed his eyes and held his breath.
The bear came over to Ben and and smelt his face. He decided he was dead and walked away.
When the bear was out of sight Alfie climbed down from the tree and went over to Ben.
"What did the bear say to you?" he asked.
Ben retorted, "The bear told me to keep away from selfish friends like you."
NANTHAN

Punishment for the Worms

A mother didn't like the fact that her son always wanted to sleep in late.
She said many things to try and wake him.
"Shall we go out into the garden and see how wonderful nature is? It is so beautiful today. The sun is shining, the flowers are in full bloom and multicoloured butterflies are flying here, there and everywhere."
But her son didn't take any notice. Again she tried to wake him.
"There are so many birds this morning singing beautiful songs at the tops of their voices...But oh what a sad sight the birds are catching and gobbling poor little worms."The son suddenly sat up and exclaimed,
"Serves them right for getting up this early in the morning!"
AMANDA

The Fox King

Once upon a time there was a fox in a faraway jungle. It was a drought period and all the animals lacked food and water. One day the fox went to a nearby village to find food and water, as he could bear his hunger no longer.
The fox saw a pot and peaked inside to find food. But there wasn't any food inside - it was a pot of blue paint. The pot fell over and the fox was covered head to tail in blue paint. The fox was scared and ran off to the jungle.
When he got to the jungle the other animals didn't recognize him and they thought he was a special messenger from god, sent to save them from the drought. So they elected him their king. The king was given every comfort and lived a life of leisure and luxury.
But on Poya (full moon) Day all the foxes in the jungle began to bark at the moon. The king couldn't stop himself and began to bark too. At once all the animals saw that their king was really a fox and chased him out of the jungle.

The inborn qualities of a person cannot be hidden.
SHANIKA

The Yam Tree

After long journeys around the world two friends met up to share their amazing experiences.
The first said that he had been in a country where there was a yam tree so huge it could shade 500 riders and horses under just one leaf of that tree.
Having listened to that story the second person recounted a story of a huge pot factory where 2,500 people were needed to make just one pot; 1000 working on the top, 1000 working around the pot and another 500 working inside.
Hearing this the first friend said he didn't believe it and started to laugh and tease his friend.
"What's the purpose of such a large pot" he asked.
"To boil the yam from your yam tree" his friend replied.
VAJIRA

Fooled by a Reflection

A dog was walking by a river with a bone in his mouth. Then he saw another dog in the water with a bigger bone than his.
He dropped his bone and jumped into the river to snatch the other dog's bone.
In the end he got neither, his own one or the other dog's one. The other dog was a reflection and his own one had dropped to the bottom of the river.
This is a good lesson for those who aren't satisfied with what they've got.
KAMANI

The Judgement of King Kakille

Once there was a king called Kakille. When he was ruling the country there were heavy rains. A poor old man's house collapsed. He was so angry he went to see the king to complain about the mason. The king summoned the mason to the palace and ordered him to be executed.
The mason was so scared and begged the king not to kill him. He said that it wasn't his fault. The pot he used was so big that he had mixed the clay with too much water. The potter should be punished for this. The king thought for a moment and summoned the potter to the palace.
The potter begged the king not to execute him. He told the king that while he was making the pot a woman kept walking up and down the road and smiling at him. He was distracted and couldn't make the pot properly. So the potter told the king that the woman should be punished.
The woman was summoned. She was horrified and expalained why she had walked past the potter's workshop several times. She had given some gold to a jeweller to make a necklace. But the jeweller hadn't finished the necklace in time. So she had to go there several times until he had completed his work. The jeweller should be punished.
The king thought about it and ordered the jeweller to come to the palace.
The king ordered the jeweller executed by being trampled to death by an elephant.
The jeweller was a thin, bony man. He thought for a moment and told the king that the elephant would be hurt if he trampled his body. But he said that he knew a fat shopkeeper who could be easily trampled. The king thought it was a good idea and ordered the shopkeeper to be brought to the palace and executed.
So a man was punished who didn't know anything about the crime.
UDESHIKA

Classical Music

I like to listen to music. There are many varieties of music such as classical, rock, hip hop, rap, pop, country, folk etc. But I like classical music. Classical music produces some very meaningful songs.
I also like the different types of musical instrument used in classical music: sitar, violin, tabla, and box guitar. Of these, the sitar and the violin are the ones I'd most like to learn how to play.
There are many popular classical musicians in our country. They include Sunil Edirisinghe, WD Amaradeva, Gunadasa Kapuge and Nanda Malini. My favourite classical musician is WD Amaradeva. He sings beautifully and his music is smooth on the ear.
AMANDA

Nachchayana

Nachchayana was a dancing festival organised by our school Dancing Society. I had the chance to participate in this great occasion.
There were many varieties of dance forms such as Kandyan dancing, Low Country dancing, folk dancing and Manipuri dancing.
I participated in a Tamil folk dance and a Sinhala folk dance. For the Tamil folk dance I wore a sari and for the Sinhala one I wore a traditional Sihhala costume.
This was a good opportunity to discover our hidden talents and helped us build our characters.
UDESHIKA

Drunks and Surgeons

A drunken man gets on to a bus late at night and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and exclaims, "You are going straight to Hell!"
The man jumps out of his seat and shouts, "Good heavens! I'm on the wrong bus. I want to go to Colombo 3."
Three surgeons were discussing patients.
The first said, "I like operating on electricians because everything is colour coded."
The second said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on because everything inside is numbered."
The third said, "I think Sri Lankan Ministers are easiest because they are heartless, brainless, spineless, gutless and their heads and backsides are interchangeable."
PARANE

Husband and Wife

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."
Then the husband turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A husband and wife were travelling down a country road to visit the wife's family. For several miles not a word had been spoken, because they had had an argument and neither of them wanted to break the silence. As they passed a farmyard full of mules, goats and pigs the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yeah" replied the husband "in-laws."
SAMANGI

Teachers & Pupils

A Chemistry teacher was taking a new class and was intent on instilling discipline. So he asked, "If there any idiots in the class will they stand up immediately."
A few moments later a pupil rose to his feet.
"So why do you consider yourself to be an idiot?" he demanded.
"I don't. But I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
"Hello, Sir. Tim couldn't come into school today because he has a fever."
Headmaster: Who's speaking?
"It's my Dad."
PARANE